I have been struggling with how to put a major shift in consciousness into words. I found the words on Pinterest.
"The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. The gift is yours. It is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.
December 20, 2019 was that day. I awoke to a superpower of awareness. I would use that power to shape my world into a goal driven place. I would no longer drift. I would stop living the same year over and over.
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There is something about October that makes me restless. It's the time of year for transitions. The leaves change, temperatures begin to drop, and nighttime arrives earlier. Give me an adventure, a bit of romance, a second chance at life. Can I get a do over? Have you ever said, 'Let me try that again?'
I love time travel shows. Stories that depict individuals traveling back in time in order to change some past event. I've started watching a TV series called Being Erica.
"She is a young woman, smart and well-educated, but an underachiever who has been perennially unlucky in her career and her love life. She meets the character Dr. Tom who claims that he can help her fix everything that is not going well in her life. Although initially reluctant, she soon learns that what he is offering is the ability to go back in time to relive and even change her deepest regrets.
It sounds like I’m not happy with the present. Is this due to the increasing complexities that come with age or because I’ve lost something dear and want to gain it again?
Erica provides Dr. Tom with a long list of those bad decisions which she most regrets. What he does is transport her back in time to each of those moments so that she, with all the knowledge of her present day life, can make better decisions to fix her life. Regardless of these new decisions, Dr. Tom hopes that Erica will come to the realization that although the opinions of others about her life do matter, it's what she thinks of her decisions and her life that are more important.
Regrets are carrying sorrow or shame regarding past actions or decisions. There are many things I regret. Knowing what I know now, it’s all too easy to look back and wish I’d made different choices. One of the gravest disservices to inflict on myself is to judge the decisions made then based upon what I know now. Knowledge is gained through the portal of trial and error — mistakes are a part of growing. If it is something
that can't be "fixed" then let it go. And learn from it so
it doesn't happen again. So...Mr. Tom, I pass. This is not the droid you are looking for.
