I sooooo understand.
Humor. Just another tasty ingredient in Hermit Cookies.
Wednesday, September 11, 2019
Reflections
Been watching the seasons of the MTV Catfish show. Wondering if I should become involved in online dating. You never know who you are talking to, except I'd be the one to research and track a catfish. I'm not naive or foolish. The power of an INTJ woman.
Monday, September 9, 2019
Drifting
"I sometimes find I’m drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I’m truly
Worth what I’ve been blessed.*
I
question just
where I belong.
My
life changed dramatically two years ago. Death
brings that. Who was I without him? Want to know a secret? I’ve
never lived on my own. So I explored this new life. I
spent the following
year
binging
on Netflix,
redecorating
my apartment, playing Elvenar, reading
a bunch of books, sitting
outside in the sun, lunches with friends, coming
and going as I pleased.
It
was satisfying at first, but I’m
adrift
now.
I
don’t find this
life fulfilling anymore, and it
terrifies
me.
"You see me in my daily grind,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone, I question
Just where I belong.
Drift Syndrome is
“when
we can’t figure out why we’re doing what we’re doing...a sense
of ‘drift’ settles in”, says David DiSalvo. We just end up where we are because that’s where life took us.
Feeling
the 'drift' is an emotional trigger for feeling lost". I’m
continuing the lifestyle I lived with him. Moving aimlessly. One that left me
unfulfilled, unhappy, unmotivated. It’s
what I know. The
tricky thing about drift is that people rarely want to admit to
themselves that they’re drifting.
"Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My “meaning” over time?
So
how
do I
to catch myself
in drift? Knowing and being honest with myself
is one of the harder challenges of adult life.
Who am I and who do I want to be? I
have an idea, but I’m not sure it’s a repeat of failed patterns
or if this is truly who I want to be. I’ll have to explore it
further. My
dream life is out there, all I
have to do is take the initiative to
make things better.
*Drifting by Kit McCallum 2000
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