Monster Mash

There is a monster who lives in a corner of my home. He is big, brutal and ugly; waiting for the chance to pounce. My husband allows this creature to live there. He says if we just ignore the thing nothing bad will happen. It is when the monster is acknowledged then it rises up and overwhelms. Our happy life together can go on, but I am not so easily lulled into security. I see the beast creeping closer, hear the gnashing of sharp teeth and the glint of claws. It is not content to remain in the shadowy corner. It is the nature of monsters to attack.

Our current monster is taxes. We owe the state several thousand. I had a plan that would allow us to pay this year's tax. It would require sacrifices, but was entirely doable. He did not want to discuss it. So here we are, at the end of the year, with no money saved. I was not going to be the only one making the sacrifice or setting aside funds from my paycheck to cover his tax problems. It is his pet monster. Dr. Nicholas Cristenfeld, from University of California, San Diego, conducted a study on dog owners. I found this quote from the article most revealing,

Research indicated that when people pick a dog, they look for one that, at some level, bears some resemblance to them. 

He treats the monster as a pet because it resembles him.This is the way my husband deals with all problems in our marriage. If you acknowledge the situation, it will rise up to bite you. Ignore it and all is well.  Bring up a topic for discussion and the teeth and claws come out. He prefers living in the shadows of avoidance. It is useful in the short run, but avoidance is an ineffective coping strategy. Disagreements arise in marriage, but withdrawing and holding in feelings or attacking with verbal abuse does not lead to marital harmony. That 800 pound monster takes up a lot of room.