My spouse is not speaking to me—again. Not unusual with an OCPDr. I broke
a Rule. A rule he set just moments before. Regardless of how minor, the results of breaking a Rule set by an OCPDr, will be
unpleasant. They could be: scorn, name-calling, tantrums, sulking, slamming (of
doors, cupboards, etc.), rolled eyes, sounds of disgust, withholding of sex or
affection, the silent treatment, stomping...I need outside help for
this. I posted to a chat room for persons involved with OCPDrs.
"I have tried a search of former threads and not found what I was looking for. Perhaps I don't have the correct words? So I am asking directly. When my DH is home, as I did find in the threads, there is no initiation of sex. It all comes from me. In contrast, when he is away from home, he can't get enough. When we were moving to Ends of the Earth, Texas to care for his father, there was an endless supply. Sometimes it was a straight walk back to the bedroom when I would arrive for visits.
Here is my dilemma today. He is away from home in truck driving school (will be gone a lot in the future). He has once again become very sexual in his texts and phone calls (ick, because it is not our norm). He is demanding naked pictures of me as proof of my love. This topic has come up before and I have said 'NO'. Pictures like these never end up in a good place. How many actresses have regretted nude shots? How many celebrities have had their private pictorial moments exposed, or sold, once an relationship is over? It is not a tool I wish to hand to an emotional wreck. Unfortunately, I caved. Sent one. Hell's floodgates opened! Now he demanded more shots. Then it grew to a picture-a-day. That school is 8 weeks long! What would be next? Scripted shots with plastic pickles? Video?
It was my fault. I should of held to the boundary. You get lax during the calm periods. My coping style is avoidance. I hate confrontation. I am learning to speak up. I knew I had to re-establish the boundary. So I put my foot down and of course, received venom in return. Implied threat he will not be coming home (ha, that is sooo scary, me alone, /sarcasm), I am a bad wife for 'not pleasing him' and expressed understanding in how my ex lost interest in me.
Why this change? Anxiety? He fears loss of control due to the distance?I wait their replies.
