Saturday’s Child--by Countee Cullen
Some are teethed on a silver spoon,
With the stars strung for a rattle;
I cut my teeth as the black raccoon—
For implements of battle.
Some are swaddled in silk and down,
And heralded by a star;
They swathed my limbs in a sackcloth gown
On a night that was black as tar.
For some, godfather and goddame
The opulent fairies be;
Dame Poverty gave me my name,
And Pain godfathered me.
For I was born on Saturday—
“Bad time for planting a seed,”
Was all my father had to say,
And, “One mouth more to feed.”
Death cut the strings that gave me life,
And handed me to Sorrow,
The only kind of middle wife
My folks could beg or borrow.
I can't understand some patients. Friday, I take a call from the doctor's office requesting a STAT abdominal ultrasound. Unfortunately, Patient has eaten. When I explained I can schedule for next week, I get Doctor on the line. Suspected appendicitis. (Made me pissy, not one time did MA mention a diagnosis. Appendicitis = major buzz word and gets you all kind of free passes.) I know my job and food with an abdominal ultrasound usually does not get Patient in the door. Would Doctor like to order a CT? No, too much radiation? No problem. Let me talk to the department.
One ringy dingy. Radiologist did not feel 'comfortable' doing the ultrasound (he wanted a CT, bingo! Score one for me). Patient is sent home until Radiologist Dos returns from lunch in an hour. I got a contact number for Doctor and Patient. *Jeopardy theme*
Two ringy dingies. Radiologist Dos is agreeable to do ultrasound. I call Patient and a young man answers. Patient is shopping at Walmart with Aunt and did not take contact phone. OMG. I quickly regroup and hope I can find another contact number in Patient's account when I schedule the exam. I called Grandmother, got Aunt's phone number and yes, they are on their way. Whew *relief*.
One hour later--A call from Ultrasound Tech reminding me she leaves in 30 minutes. Do I know where Patient is? OMG! Another call. Patient went to get Mother. They will be here shortly.
Now two hours later--I take a call from Doctor's office. He has not received the report for his patient. OMG! Informed MA, Patient has not arrived. MA states it was made clear to Patient the severity of the situation, but she will tell Doctor.
Forty minutes later--Patient arrives. Ultrasound Tech will have to be called in on overtime. Patient, Patient's Boyfriend and Mother barely made it before Radiologist Dos left for the weekend. I tell myself to stay in my office because I have many choice words I could spew to the Patient and Mother. Don't waste my time. Don't waste your Doctor's. Don't receive special concessions for your sake and not appreciate them. What was so important at Walmart? I had to peek. Not one grimace of pain on Patient's face. Mother looked irritated. Boyfriend must be there to return cell phone. Save Money, Live Better.
