Humor Raisin

Just another tasty ingredient in Hermit Cookies.

Pulling Out My Hair

OMG. OMG. How many times until I learn? SMH. I tried to get some support and sympathy from my spouse tonight. I am in the final week until the job transfer. It has been a troubling week in that I thought I was being held a month, instead of the traditional two weeks, to train my replacement.

My supervisor was sending me to my new office at the same moment my replacement was showing up for training. HUH? The supervisor stated my two coworkers could handle it. Then I find out from my replacement the slacker girl went missing and my bestie has to handle the phones and does not have time to spend training. She is not learning much when I am not there. 

I went to see my Director today. While completing some paperwork I need, we talked. I came away humbled and humiliated. It seems I was incorrect as to the reason for the month wait to transfer. Either of my other coworkers are capable of training the replacement. No other reason was offered. HUH?

So let's recap. The Director of Radiology does not like I am leaving. The Director over the physicians offices does not like I am leaving. The physician offices are upset I am leaving. Today I learn the operating room is upset I am leaving. Guess the only place that has no concerns I am going? YUP.

It matters not to my department. Truly, they see no greatness in me. I am equal to all others. In The 7 Hidden Reasons Employees Leave, Leigh Branham writes why many managers don’t care.

"The fact is that many managers and even senior executives simply don’t care about why their employees are leaving. Their attitude seems to be, “If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit you in the backside on your way out!

If this sounds familiar, it should, because it describes the prevailing mindset of most managers in American companies today. Most are overworked, and many are frustrated by their inability to meet the demands of the current workforce, much less do exit interviews.

There will always be managers who are too preoccupied, self-focused, or insensitive to notice the signs that employees are becoming disengaged and too uncaring, complacent, blaming, in denial, insecure, or ego-defensive to find out the real reasons they left. They too readily accept turnover as “a cost of doing business.” They are too willing to believe the superficial reasons for leaving that employees give in exit interviews.

Why? Psychologists call it “motivated blindness”; they cannot handle the truth — that the real reason the employee left may be linked to their own behavior. These managers are actually choosing not to see, hear, or speak the “evil” that plagues them.

I have to admit I was one who became disengaged. What is that? Disengaged employees are uncommitted, marginally productive, frequently absent, or, in the case of the actively disengaged, actually work against the interests of the company. I was not in the latter category, but I was disruptive, complaining, and occupied the time and attention of my supervisor and Director far too frequently. I figured out I no longer fit the job, *deep sigh of relief*.

Here it comes. Brace yourself. I was trying to explain to my spouse my frustration that my department can't see or acknowledge the level of talent they are losing. I can't figure out why they kept me a month or why they failed to tell me when my last day was. I had to ask my new supervisor when I was to show up. All I got was 'you bitched about the job, now you're bitching about leaving the job'. Blink. Blink.

I found this sentence describing an abusive man in everyday life. 'He doesn't like having her appear in public as smart, capable, and interesting, because that collides with his deeply held belief that she is irrational, incompetent, and worthy of being ignored—a view of her that he many want others to share with him.'


Him and my managers. lol.

I'm A Fucktard

I unfriended Princess Bonnie today. I like to keep my Facebook for friends and family usually. Oh, well, live and learn. I saw the ecard above on her page. 

Yup, about me. I'm a fucktard. Several coworkers made comments agreeing and being supportive. Time to go. Plus, it is none of my business what she thinks of me. Jim Miotke says, '

"there is great power in the phrase 'what other people think of me is none of my business...because it has nothing to do with me. Honestly, that is the case almost all of the  the time. When people are being judgmental, when they get upset with you, so often it is something to do with their world completely and has nothing to do with you. Maybe there is just something going on in their personal life and there is a trigger and you happen to be the brunt of it...

According to Urban Dictionary, 

1. 'fucktard' is a contraction of fucking retard...

2. 'a person of unbelievable, inexcusable and indescribable stupidity. (Stupidity being defined as "knowing how and doing it wrong anyway"). NOT A CONTRACTION FOR 'FUCKING RETARD'! Those who are truly "Retarded" are not responsible for their affliction. True Fucktards are 100% responsible for their situation and provide vast entertainment as they are usually blissfully unaware of their own Fucktardery.

3. 'a person considered to be foolish or socially inept while also being irritatingly offensive.

I could see myself in the third definition. I have problems saying the right thing at the right time. At least I offered vast entertainment. Never unaware though. Blissfully would have been a blessing.

Maybe I should make an Urban Dictionary for Triggertard: 

'a person that has what is considered normal cognitive faculties but for whatever reason has opted out of using them. Instead goes psycho in a strong emotional reaction set off by words or image that reminds the person of a traumatic event.

Yeah, that would do it. 

Reflections

It felt good, real good. I was speaking to the Director over all the physician offices. She asked me 'where I was going?' How did she learn I was taking a new job? Several  doctor's offices had called to complain I was leaving. Yeay me! I explained I was going to learn the billing side of our office. She looked incredibly interested. So now my future boss definitely knows how valuable I am plus I am gaining a new skill her department needs. Double yeay me!

P.S. When the Director of Radiology heard I was leaving he remarked, 'Now Radiology is going to hell.'

This makes me angry. Why does my department make 'exceptions' for mediocrity and not exceptionality? Management allows slacker coworker to remain knowing of her errors, knowing I have a higher call volume because doctors' offices are aware of her mediocrity. Yet it would not be fair if I was exempted from having to register on my week. 

P.S.S. I have to put these things behind me.

Reflections

I am having a panic attack triggered by the crappy note left on my desk this morning by Princess Bonnie. I only have to get to December 2nd, my official moving day to the new job. One mississippi, two mississippi, three mississippi... the days can't count down fast enough! My doctor is phoning a prescription for Valium to my pharmacy. I wish I was strong when jealous haters talk shit about me I just laugh. Join the fan club Bitch!

Hit the Road Jack...

I have a new job. Prayer works. I heard about the job on Wednesday, applied Thursday, interviewed Friday and aced it. I am waiting for Monday and the call from HR to make it official. Same organization. I am transferring from the front office to our off-site back office. I am so at peace. You know it's time to quit, when you end up in the hospital with heart issues because you had to go to work. I want to be inspired, excited to go to work again! I feel loss at leaving my bestie coworker, who jokingly called me 'bitch' when I told her I applied for another job. 

Things I will NOT miss: 

Jurassic Park. The Divasaurus. High maintenance passive aggressive coworker with authority over me. 

Slacker Coworker. In every workplace, there is always that one person who doesn't pull her weight. I am tired of fixing her mistakes, of doing her work because she can't be bothered, her using my brain because two years later she still does not know her job, and her bipolar moodiness. 

A Toxic Workplace. 

In her book, Toxic Work, Barbara Bailey Reinhold, Ed.D. describes ways an unhealthy environment affects your psychological and physical health. According to Reinhold, a toxic workplace is “when the demands of your job, and your response to them undercut the quality of your family life and friendships, you are robbed of the very things you need in order to be fully alive and most creative and productive on the job.” My health has suffered along with my attitude. That is why I got wrote up recently.

My Stalker. There is a coworker, male, from another department who is all together too friendly, touchy and possessive. I have attempted to alert management and it worked for awhile, but he is persistent. I put up with it because he is in a position to do me some harm.

Bonnie and Clyde. The coworker who put me in the hospital... oh wait, I didn't tell you about that, did I? I am still not sure what sparked it. But I set Bonnie off somehow, next thing I know her voice is raised and she is yelling incomprehensible things. Let me start at the beginning...

Once upon a time, there was a hard working servant girl. She was very intelligent and did most everything right. The King and Queen were happy to have her in the castle. There was also a slacker servant girl.

The hard working servant girl would point out to the slacker girl where she missed a cobweb or left soap bubbles on the floor. The slacker girl grumbled because she did not appreciate doing the best job she could for the King and Queen. She plotted ways to get back at the hard working servant girl.

One day, the slacker servant said Princess Bonnie needed the hard working servant girl to do something for her. The hard working servant girl was puzzled because Princess Bonnie always gave her directions in person. She went to Princess Bonnie and requested that Princess Bonnie not send the slacker servant girl, but please speak to the hard working servant girl in person.

Suddenly, the air took on an eerie glow. A cold wind began to blow and Princess Bonnie transformed into a wicked witch who hurled curses at the hard working servant. The hard working servant girl backed away, fearful, attempting to speak words that would send the witch away. The King heard the commotion and when he arrived the witch fled. All too late. The curses began to work on the hard working servant girl and her heart began to break. 

I ended up in the emergency room with chest pains. I was kept overnight hooked to telemetry. I have since followed up with a cardiologist, had an echocardiogram, a stress test, a sleep study, seen my primary physician a couple of times, and a counselor. Most of those bills will be written off due to my employment, but not all. The hospitalization was $8,500 (luckily wrote off). Management has done nothing I know of. Not one word from Bonnie since. She walks past me as if I am invisible. It has escalated to include Clyde. They are attempting to mob me with intimidation and isolation. 

ODAS. The four most hated words in the English language—Other Duties As Assigned. I now have one job to do. I will be the only one to do this work. I go into my space, do my job, and take my paycheck home. Heavenly...

 

It Wasn't Me This Time

I chuckled to myself all afternoon. For once it was not me rocking the boat. It was a 'good girl'. She did not want to register either. Ha! My supervisor sent out an intraoffice memo on the topic.

"One other thing to be mindful of, if there is a call in, it will alter the back up plan. Others will have to step up and help out. We've all been in that situation, whether sick or on vacation. This is a courtesy and expected of everyone. In order for us to provide good customer service, we all have to be back ups to keep our patient flow going....I hope I do not have to address this issue again. We are a team and we will all work as a team. 

Ha. There are only four people on that 'team'. The four of us are heartily sick of the teamwork.

Pinocchio

Liar. Liar. It starts with 'the dog ate my homework' and becomes progressively more creative as we enter the workplace. How to get a day off without using valuable vacation time is the question. The answer is thirty excuses designed just for women. I scanned them for illness reasons because I don't become ill like many do. I wished I had a good ol' fever, rolphing, or a diarrhea dash. *Sigh*

 
 
 
 

Well Hell

This is the end of my Hell Week. Those 'other duties as assigned' have no option, must do duties. I've had insomnia and a lack of appetite. I spent the day with cramping in my bowels. I've been beaten, thoroughly defeated. 

My supervisor just can't understand why I am the only one that has a problem with the other duties. I came to the conclusion I no longer fit the job. Realization is peace. Imagine my wonder that the glorious internet had just what I needed. Yes to all five. Can I get an amen from the congregation? In Signs the Job No Longer Fits You, by Michelle Franklin, she writes

"It's seldom easy to decide to leave a current job. However, there are times when terminating current employment is the right thing to do. Maybe you are no longer satisfied with the work, or the culture of the company has changed significantly. It could be you are ready for a new challenge, or are simply ready to change careers. The following are some indicators it may be time to think about a job change:

You dread going to work. This one sounds pretty obvious, but when you are truly satisfied and happy with your work, you do not dread it. Everyone has an occasional day, or even a week or two, where work is not appealing. However, when this becomes the norm, it may be an indicator that it's time for a change.

The culture at work has changed and is now uncomfortable. In some ways, 'culture' has become a business buzzword, but there is still truth to the idea that the environment in the workplace can affect employees' happiness and satisfaction. When a company goes through significant cultural change due to shifts in leadership, focus, or goals, it can alter the environment enough to make employees unhappy. If your company culture has changed and no longer fits you, it may be time to look elsewhere.

Your job is no longer satisfying. While some jobs are naturally repetitive, a sense of satisfaction with your work is crucial to your effectiveness. When you no longer feel satisfied either by your work or by the results you achieve, you lose effectiveness at work and may not be fully engaged. Unengaged employees are not good for the company and are not happy with their work. When this occurs and you cannot find a way to reengage, it might be best to move on.

 You do not feel valued or appreciated. A paycheck is the main reason most of us work. However, this is not the only reason. People also need to feel a sense of appreciation for the work they do. After all, we spend more time at work than just about anywhere. If you do not feel valued during that time, it is difficult to feel committed to the work or the organization. Some jobs may provide a sense of value and appreciation through customer interaction. In other cases, this may be achieved through relationships with co-workers. In all cases, if you do not feel like you provide value, you may be prompted to look for something providing a greater sense of making a difference.

You feel burned out or cannot maintain work-life balance. Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more common as companies try to accomplish the same results with fewer and fewer employees. This means that employees left find themselves with increasingly heavy workloads, responsibilities, and assignments. You can only maintain a significantly increased pace for a while before you start to feel burned out with the work. You may still enjoy the work and find a great deal of satisfaction in it, but when work begins to take over the rest of your life, you may want to consider seeking something better suited to your long-term goals and values.

There are many obvious indicators to change a job. When a company is clearly struggling, a supervisor is difficult or impossible to work for, or other circumstances make it impossible to remain, it can be an easy decision. The signs above may be a bit more nebulous but are still valid reasons to examine whether it is time to look for a change.

Man Overboard

Only dead fish swim with the stream. --Malcolm Muggeridge

I live in a simple world. If it is wrong, stop doing it. If it is broken, fix it. If it's a lie, speak the truth. Stupid is as stupid does. If you go along, you get along. Uh….. no. When we go along to get along, we begin to abandon our own principles and persona. I don’t want to conform in order to have acceptance and security. I want to fit in with my differences intact.

From Wikipedia: 'Solomon Asch conducted his classic conformity experiments in an attempt to discover if people would still conform when the right answer was obvious. Using confederates, he created the illusion that an entire group of participants believed something that was obviously false. When in this situation, participants conformed about a third of the time on trials where the confederates gave obviously false answers.' So agree to a lie and people will like you.

I picked up an upper respiratory virus while on vacation which showed up after I returned to work. Bummer. I needed to call in under the new policy which requires me to speak directly to either my boss or director. No more leaving a message or texting. I called my boss, left a message saying I was sick, and would continue to call her. After two more attempts to the office, one to her cell phone and one to the director with no answers I left another message. I admit it was a pissy message about attempting to reach them with no luck. Why make a policy without a way to successfully implement it? An hour later, I get a pissy call to acknowledge my pissy call. (Was that really necessary, Boss? Hope you feel better now.) When I ask what can be done in the future to reach someone, she says, leave a message. What? Forrest Gump would be pleased. Stupidity is based more on our actions than on the speed at which you think. 

My husband says I get in trouble because I ‘rock the boat’. I disturb the status quo. After eight years, I think I finally realize the boat is anchored. It’s not going anywhere. Time to jump ship.

Top 10 Advantages of Introvert

There maybe some misconceptions about Introverts. Is it that bad to be a Introvert? Introvert Advantages, a site for the book The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World, has a list of top ten advantages of being an introvert, with a comparison of top 10 misconception about introvert. Here are the Top Ten Advantages Introverts Possess:

10) Work Well With Others, Especially In One-to-One Relationships
9) Maintain Long-Term Friendships
8) Flexible
7) Independent
6) Strong Ability To Concentrate
5) Self-Reflective
4) Responsible
3) Creative, Out-of-the-Box thinking
2) Analytical Skills That Integrate Complexity
1) Studious and Smart

Monday, Monday La la la la

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays. —Anonymous

Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has been cancelled, go back to sleep.' I work for a small town hospital in the business office. With the economy as it is, work has changed. People have lost insurance, people are delaying seeking medical care, medical costs have skyrocketed, and work has morphed into Jerry Mcguire. Show. Me. The. Money. Try to capture the money up front since people often default on medical bills as if this expense was a whim.

♪A mark, a yen, a buck or a pound
A buck or a pound, a buck or a pound
Is all that makes the world go round ♪—Cabaret

I enjoy my job, except for the four most hated words in the English language,…’other duties as assigned’. I have ODAS in a five week rotation; every fifth week is Hell Week. Those duties held me captive last week. On what should have been my return to the world of light and air, I was cast back, a wisp, a shadow. My week was not my week. I was just filling in for the co-worker who went part-time. I would have to repeat Hell Week. It was not fair Lethe was unavailable to keep hell burning. I went to my supervisor to discuss the situation. If you want to get me riled, don’t play fair. Should I now serve double time because I happened to follow her in the roster?

‘When one acts on pity against justice, it is the good whom one punishes for the sake of the evil; when one saves the guilty from suffering, it is the innocent whom one forces to suffer.’ — Hank Rearden 

My supervisor had no solution for me. It was business as usual. She did remark, ‘Have you noticed when you wear brown you get agitated?’ What? Are colors arbitrary? What has a color to do with emotions? I had to find out…

From How Colors Impact Moods, Feelings, and Behaviors: 

"Artists and interior designers have long understood how color can dramatically affect moods, feelings and emotions. It is a powerful communication tool and can be used to signal action, influence mood, and cause physiological reactions.

I asked, does brown cause agitation? What have others found out about the emotion of brown? Rather than starting from scratch in putting together a plan for answering my question, I used the Internet to research.

• Brown is a natural color that evokes a sense of strength and reliability. 
• Brown brings to mind feeling of warmth, comfort, and security. It is often described as natural, down-to-earth, and conventional, but brown can also be sophisticated. 
• Brown is the color of good furniture and favorable smells thus imparting happiness. Amber, auburn, bay, beige, bronze, brunette, buff, burnt sienna, camel, chestnut, chocolate, cinnamon, cocoa, coffee, copper, fallow, fawn, old gold, hazel, khaki, lion, liver, mahogany, nut, ochre, russet, rust, seal brown, sepia, snuff, tan, taupe, toast, tawny, umber. 
• Brown can also create feelings of sadness and isolation. 

Hmmm, these are not words that rankle, goad or irritate. I had to test this. I resolved to wear brown for the entire week to see how things would work out. On Tuesday, I passed my supervisor in the hallway and remarked wow, it has been a day. She pointed at me and stated, ‘Brown’ and kept walking. Next day, I caught her leaving the building. She remarks, ‘Are you doing this on purpose?’ 'No, boss, why would I do that?' All the while keeping a straight face. Thursday and Friday, nothing. Perhaps my wearing of brown had created feelings of sadness and isolation for her? I think it was a great success. I felt confident and strong. What can brown do for you today?

‘Your mind is your only judge of truth–and if others dissent from your verdict, reality is the court of final appeal.’ — John Galt

A Quick Trip to Walmart then You Can Take Me To the ER

I can't understand some patients. Friday, I take a call from the doctor's office requesting a STAT abdominal ultrasound. Unfortunately, Patient has eaten. When I explained I can schedule for next week, I get Doctor on the line. Suspected appendicitis. (Made me pissy, not one time did MA mention a diagnosis. Appendicitis = major buzz word and gets you all kind of free passes.) I know my job and food with an abdominal ultrasound usually does not get Patient in the door. Would Doctor like to order a CT? No, too much radiation? No problem. Let me talk to the department.

One ringy dingy. Radiologist did not feel 'comfortable' doing the ultrasound (he wanted a CT, bingo! Score one for me). Patient is sent home until Radiologist Dos returns from lunch in an hour. I got a contact number for Doctor and Patient. *Jeopardy theme*

Two ringy dingies. Radiologist Dos is agreeable to do ultrasound. I call Patient and a young man answers. Patient is shopping at Walmart with Aunt and did not take contact phone. OMG. I quickly regroup and hope I can find another contact number in Patient's account when I schedule the exam. I called Grandmother, got Aunt's phone number and yes, they are on their way. Whew *relief*.

One hour later--A call from Ultrasound Tech reminding me she leaves in 30 minutes. Do I know where Patient is? OMG! Another call. Patient went to get Mother. They will be here shortly.

Now two hours later--I take a call from Doctor's office. He has not received the report for his patient. OMG! Informed MA, Patient has not arrived. MA states it was made clear to Patient the severity of the situation, but she will tell Doctor.

Forty minutes later--Patient arrives. Ultrasound Tech will have to be called in on overtime. Patient, Patient's Boyfriend and Mother barely made it before Radiologist Dos left for the weekend. I tell myself to stay in my office because I have many choice words I could spew to the Patient and Mother. Don't waste my time. Don't waste your Doctor's. Don't receive special concessions for your sake and not appreciate them. What was so important at Walmart? I had to peek. Not one grimace of pain on Patient's face. Mother looked irritated. Boyfriend must be there to return cell phone. Save Money, Live Better.

What's Happening

*Takes deep breath* Work got difficult one day and stressed me to the max. I had a panic attack and felt totally freaked. Went to the doctor and bawled in the office. Was diagnosed with agoraphobia. Like duh. I don't feel safe unless I am home or with someone I know. Received a prescription for antidepressant and Valium. Took Valium as soon as the prescription was filled.

Oooo, really liked the Valium. Everything was mellow. Keep the Valium in my purse for emergencies. Started feeling better as antidepressant kicked in. Increased my progesterone to supplement GABA production in my brain.

Life is better. Spouse acting very nice. Perhaps he is a pod person? Then had to move our stuff next door so the landlords' could renovate our apartment. Good grief, what a production moving the Smithsonian. Spouse attempted to move it in slow stages. Landlords' finally gave three day deadline. Huff, huff, tote that barge, move that bale. And to think I did give a heads up to the landlords' in December my spouse would need a deadline. I got swept up in the whirlwind. The apartment will look really good when it gets finished. Not, so very not, looking forward to the move back.

Started my Etsy business. Having a blast learning that. Attempting to sew on the weekends. Ordered lots of fun fabric. I found I still need lots more choices. Playing games on Facebook. It got really cold here. My 'Check Engine Light' came on. I suspect because the young man overfilled my gas tank. It has since gone out. Fatigue is a continuing problem. I started Adkins the beginning of February. Lost 7 lbs so far. Amazing for me-the carboholic. This is my extra stress week at work, once every four weeks. I took a Valium today. I miss my blog.

Nothing With A Face

I am strung out and wrung out. I had an anxiety attack at work because the most hated words in the English language are '...and other duties as assigned'.

I made a lateral move at work because what I had been doing for three years was becoming increasingly stressful. I could no longer deal one-on-one with the public. Nothing with a face across from me ever again. A constant barrage of dealing with problems, personalities, and expectations drained me. In my new position, I have an office with a door.  I close it when the ambient face noise begins to jar my nerves. I deal with a few outside offices by phone. Most of my work arrives electronically. I am safe in my little office cocoon. I can take mental breaks as needed; get up, move around, surf the net, or visit my coworker to consult on some issue.

Not today. I had to fill the old position. A constant stream of strangers in and out of my office for-eight-straight-hours as I prepared their paperwork. Sign here. Make copies. Separate. Shuffle and staple. Give directions. Thank you for coming. Keep moving because people with faces are waiting. One was a woman with four small children, one of whom climbed on my chair, pulled my mouse cord, used an OUTSIDE voice with her sister, all the while her baby sister was crying.

Several did not speak English. One even stared at me to the point I was freaked out. My phone rang off the hook. I couldn't answer because I was not available to take care of their needs. Messages I could not retrieve are piled up for tomorrow. I broke down and cried. I don't want the old job, but the hated words in my job description allow my boss to assign as she pleases.

OMG

I am trying not to burn bridges while simultaneously holding this gas can and match. It would be soooo eaassssy not to filter my thoughts since I am leaving. For example, yesterday it was our monthly staff meeting. I work in a department of women. If you have experience with this, then you know how problematic the high school situations arise with the surfeit of estrogen. 

I read a book on this psychology called, In the Company of Women. The authors begin by defining and describing how and why women behave as they do.  After readers begin to identify interactions as they relate to relationships, power, and self-esteem and learn how to use the power dead-even rule, they can begin to understand the intricacies of working with women on a professional level. According to the authors,

"It seemed to us that women consistently failed to support other women and even actively undermined their authority and credibility.

They continue,

"...when women work together, they often experience conflict with one another--a phenomenon that is referred to most often by men as a 'catfight'.

Remember the coworker I had to assist and not eat lunch if needed? It is not just me. I created a schedule of who was 'on call' to help for the next quarter. We all have to leave our assigned work and calls and be there to play 'team' for an entire week. She gets her work completed on time and the assigned have to scramble to catch up. Plus, I had to endure an hour with the Director correcting my 'erroneous' thinking because I made a remark about this coworker's work habits within earshot. Here comes some irony. (I so love it!)

Last night at the meeting, right at the end, when we all wanted to leave, she decides to throw a hissy fit over some paper left on her desk. A file that was handed to her and she did not think belonged to her and she should not have to complete it. She backed the one who left it into a corner. All this done in front of the Director who emphasized 'team' for the one who will not play team. Me-ooow. Pffssttt. Ro-awrrrr.

OMG, I so want to confront both of them. *Sound of a match striking.*

Pet Peeve Rant: The Follow Up

I have a follow up to my previous rant. Yesterday, three coworkers were out sick. No minutes were left on the microwave that day. Ha. Not so today. After investigation, I discover the one who I previously caught is most likely the culprit today. Argghhh. Divasauras strikes again. It is that sense of entitlement. Someone else can flush my microwave.

Workplace Zoo

I should get this made as a plaque for her cubicle.

   

• Divasaurus (Dinosaur Spectabalisopsis): A hot-blooded animal with a backbone that is highly emotional, charming, energetic, manipulative, seductive, impulsive, erratic, and demanding. Found in all workplaces. 
• Appearance. Sexually seductive in appearance or behavior. Spends hours preening and primping. Use of bright colors as a means of defense. Often the more vibrant and colorful the animal, the more poisonous it may be. 
• Care and Feeding. High maintenance. Thrives on constant reassurance, approval, or praise to become warm and active. May shrivel and die if not the center of attention. Low tolerance for the frustration of delayed gratification. 
• Beware the Bite. Usually has protected status with the boss. Creates more than her share of conflicts. When pushed, there could be poison. Watch your back, your front, your sides, and any other part of your anatomy you value.

Pet Peeve Rant

How come my coworkers can't flush the microwave? Arggghh, unused minutes or seconds left behind clogging up the machine. I need this sign.