Maybe I am hateful...
I went to our video store to rent a movie. Was going to have a big bowl of cereal and a movie for a carbohydrate let down to the fight. I'm standing behind a woman with a stack of movies and CD's. The cashier next door invites me to come over to her. She takes my movie. As I move around the displays to the cashier, I find another woman ahead of me. And the cashier takes her first. This was not a quick sale. The woman wants to prepurchase a movie. I notice the woman with the multiple movies and CD's is now leaving the store. Then I notice a young man behind her (or the place I just had) is now leaving the store. My cashier says lamely, 'I'm sorry.' I take my movie and return to the first line muttering, 'I can't believe this. I can't believe this.' Except now the first cashier is helping someone on the other side of the cash register while I stand there and invites that customer to come ahead of me. Arggghhhh. I left the movie and left the store.
I must have some victim pheromones. Things like this happen a lot to me. I get abused, disrespected, taken advantage of and when I complain, somehow I'm wrong, out of control, nuts, a church lady, a bitch, anything but RIGHT.
I had a fight with my husband yesterday. I admit it--I snapped. He tried to help me and I did not want it. It was a straw on camel because I was stewing over a situation he put me in on Friday. A situation I did not have the chance to discuss because of the splish splash incident. He attempted to make me do something I don't agree with and he knows it. Well anyway, off on another topic. Same theme.
Saturday, he wanted me to watch Dark Shadows, the Johnny Depp movie (I hate Depp movies). I started it, he fell asleep, per usual. It had witchcraft and satanism in it. Practices my faith excludes. I left the room and went to watch Cupcake Wars on my computer. So we pick up the conversation on Sunday morning...
I mentioned we have different tastes in movies.
Did you watch the whole movie?
No, it had witchcraft and satanism in it. I don't agree with these things. This is not entertainment to me.
You need to know your enemy. You're being all church lady. (What does that mean?)
He spent several minutes telling me how 'disappointed' he was that I did not watch the movie. There was a theme he wanted to me understand. My stomach churned that he did not respect a core belief of mine. That he thought he could override it by angry words.
Later, he put on his shoes saying he might as well leave now (he had a job to get to) as he didn't want to be around me. I had yelled at him for no reason when he was just trying to be helpful (yesterday). I give him that. He then gave me a script I should have used to decline his help. Inside my head, my jaw dropped. If I tried that with him...He said I can be incredibly hateful. Again, jaw drop...
He was filling up some water jugs and I asked him if he was filling the up the batteries in the machinery he uses for work. No, I am filling water jugs. Sooooo an 'unhateful' answer... And then he just leaves without saying goodbye.
I know I should apologize, but it just feels like empowering his bad behavior.
