Well Hell

This is the end of my Hell Week. Those 'other duties as assigned' have no option, must do duties. I've had insomnia and a lack of appetite. I spent the day with cramping in my bowels. I've been beaten, thoroughly defeated. 

My supervisor just can't understand why I am the only one that has a problem with the other duties. I came to the conclusion I no longer fit the job. Realization is peace. Imagine my wonder that the glorious internet had just what I needed. Yes to all five. Can I get an amen from the congregation? In Signs the Job No Longer Fits You, by Michelle Franklin, she writes

"It's seldom easy to decide to leave a current job. However, there are times when terminating current employment is the right thing to do. Maybe you are no longer satisfied with the work, or the culture of the company has changed significantly. It could be you are ready for a new challenge, or are simply ready to change careers. The following are some indicators it may be time to think about a job change:

You dread going to work. This one sounds pretty obvious, but when you are truly satisfied and happy with your work, you do not dread it. Everyone has an occasional day, or even a week or two, where work is not appealing. However, when this becomes the norm, it may be an indicator that it's time for a change.

The culture at work has changed and is now uncomfortable. In some ways, 'culture' has become a business buzzword, but there is still truth to the idea that the environment in the workplace can affect employees' happiness and satisfaction. When a company goes through significant cultural change due to shifts in leadership, focus, or goals, it can alter the environment enough to make employees unhappy. If your company culture has changed and no longer fits you, it may be time to look elsewhere.

Your job is no longer satisfying. While some jobs are naturally repetitive, a sense of satisfaction with your work is crucial to your effectiveness. When you no longer feel satisfied either by your work or by the results you achieve, you lose effectiveness at work and may not be fully engaged. Unengaged employees are not good for the company and are not happy with their work. When this occurs and you cannot find a way to reengage, it might be best to move on.

 You do not feel valued or appreciated. A paycheck is the main reason most of us work. However, this is not the only reason. People also need to feel a sense of appreciation for the work they do. After all, we spend more time at work than just about anywhere. If you do not feel valued during that time, it is difficult to feel committed to the work or the organization. Some jobs may provide a sense of value and appreciation through customer interaction. In other cases, this may be achieved through relationships with co-workers. In all cases, if you do not feel like you provide value, you may be prompted to look for something providing a greater sense of making a difference.

You feel burned out or cannot maintain work-life balance. Unfortunately, this is becoming more and more common as companies try to accomplish the same results with fewer and fewer employees. This means that employees left find themselves with increasingly heavy workloads, responsibilities, and assignments. You can only maintain a significantly increased pace for a while before you start to feel burned out with the work. You may still enjoy the work and find a great deal of satisfaction in it, but when work begins to take over the rest of your life, you may want to consider seeking something better suited to your long-term goals and values.

There are many obvious indicators to change a job. When a company is clearly struggling, a supervisor is difficult or impossible to work for, or other circumstances make it impossible to remain, it can be an easy decision. The signs above may be a bit more nebulous but are still valid reasons to examine whether it is time to look for a change.

Role the Window Down

Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher claimed that a good tragic play must arouse pity from the audience, adding that the best way to accomplish this was through the usage of dramatic irony. I present the following three act play for your enjoyment.
 
Characters [Husband and Wife]
Act One [Scene: Parking lot of national pharmaceutical chain. Husband and wife stand next to vehicle. Another vehicle approaches. Driver is yelling.]
Unknown driver: (Muffled name), you are such a slut!
[Vehicle exits scene. Husband and wife share smile. Enter their vehicle and drive off. Wife rolls down window.]
Husband: "You rolled down the window to hear him yell something else.
Wife: (Gasps) "I did not. I wanted some air. It is stuffy in here.
Husband: "Yay, right. You love gossip. How come you can never own up to your actions?
Wife: (Using logic) "How could I hear him? He drove to the other side of the building before we left and is long gone.
Husband: "Uh huh, I know you so well, always denying things to look innocent. I’ve been through that before.
[Wife sits stunned. Husband is joyous. They travel to their destination. End of Act One.]

Act Two [Scene: Home of Husband’s son and family. RockStar game is being played. Wife played drums. Husband finished singing and scoring high. Husband sings professionally.]
Son: (Hands microphone to Wife) "You can sing this song.
Wife: "No. I don’t want to.
Husband: (Mocking) "What about all that money you spent on singing lessons?
Wife: "I had a few and haven’t practiced at all. I won’t sing with you in the room.
Son: "Come on. You can choose another song if you want.
[After several attempts to coerce Wife into singing, Husband abruptly leaves home and enters vehicle. Wife makes apologies and says goodbye. End of Act Two]

Act Three. [Tense ride home. Wife turns off radio.]
Wife: (Timid) "I won’t sing around you because you have made negative comments about my singing in the past.
Husband: "You ruined the family fun we were having by not participating.
Wife: "I played the drums. I am not going to take a hit to my self-esteem. That was not right to just walk out and not say goodbye to your son.
Husband: (Scoffs) "So now your going to lecture me on that? It was like when we’d go to Karaoke night. There were not so good singers. After they heard me, they gave up and went home rather then sing again. You couldn’t compete against me. That is the real reason you did not want to sing. Again, not taking responsibility for your actions and playing innocent. I know you so well. Better than you will ever know me.
Wife: (Gasping like a fish. Silence the rest of the way home) [End of play]

Soren Kierkegaard said, ‘Irony is a disciplinarian feared only by those who do not know it, but cherished by those who do’. My husband is a bully. According to David Hawkins in his book Dealing with the Crazymakers in Your Life, '(Aggressors)…are expert at throwing out accusations, shifting the blame, and attacking others… They can’t look honestly at their condition. Most lack the ability to be aware of, and sensitive to their deception. It’s called denial.’ Come, Dear Readers, cherish the irony. The man who ‘knows me so well’ rejects reality. Let me roll down the window to let the fresh air in.