Eat vegetables. Grow healthy. Become healed.
I watched a movie named "The Gerson Miracle". It examines many of the elements of the Gerson Therapy, explaining why we are so ill and how we have in our grasp the power to recover our health without expensive, toxic or mutilating treatments.
Could I overcome the pain and fatigue I live with daily?
The butterfly effect is the observation that an event as seemingly insignificant as the flapping of a butterfly's wings might create a huge storm in a distant place. It is sometimes applied to a small, almost imperceptible thing that can have a large and momentous consequence. The mayonnaise jar is a pivotal moment. His bursts of anger always leave me drained, gasping, and running for higher ground. The day will come when I keep running without looking back.
Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist at the University of Washington, studied more than 2,000 married couples over two decades. He discovered patterns about how partners relate to each other which can be used to predict – with 91% accuracy – which marriages will succeed and which will fail. The four attitudes that most predict the dissolution of a relationship, especially in combination, are criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
Before Jay Leno and David Letterman, the King of Late Night was Johnny Carson. He donned a turban and cloak and became Carnac the Magnificent. Ed McMahon would continue,
"No one knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these questions having never seen them before.
Carnac would hold a business size envelope to his forehead and give an answer. He’d then rip open the envelope and read the question. I can see him adding this to his routine.
Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Envelope ripping. Question: How is marriage like a three-ring circus?
Fletcher: The pen is blue, the pen is blue, the goddamn pen is blue!
My husband and I went out to eat tonight. I've been fortunate in having a spell of overtime, but it leaves me spent after eleven hour days. So off to the trough where I don't have to cook or clean up!
We stood in line behind a large group of teenagers accompanied by two or was it three adults? The adults could have been teachers or counselors leading the outing which included pigging out at an all you can eat buffet. The skinny one was off making arrangement with the manager. I heard snippets of the conversation about price and the offer of the party room for them. She returned and spoke quietly to the dark haired one waiting with the group. The cashier began to take their drink orders.
The dark haired one turned to the remainder sharing in a whisper, 'You are all twelve.' My brain went 'Huh?' Not with the breasts on some of those girls. A few looked confused, but quickly snapped to the scam. Some were affronted. They worked really, really hard to be fourteen. Others smiled at getting something for nothing. None objected.
I wanted to raise my hand. Hey, Skinnyocchio, a lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face. A pattern is being established tonight for a way of life. Lying is okay to meet your needs. Lie your way to a better life. Lying is normal. You can trust me. I told a lie for you.
*Takes deep breath* Work got difficult one day and stressed me to the max. I had a panic attack and felt totally freaked. Went to the doctor and bawled in the office. Was diagnosed with agoraphobia. Like duh. I don't feel safe unless I am home or with someone I know. Received a prescription for antidepressant and Valium. Took Valium as soon as the prescription was filled.
Oooo, really liked the Valium. Everything was mellow. Keep the Valium in my purse for emergencies. Started feeling better as antidepressant kicked in. Increased my progesterone to supplement GABA production in my brain.
Life is better. Spouse acting very nice. Perhaps he is a pod person? Then had to move our stuff next door so the landlords' could renovate our apartment. Good grief, what a production moving the Smithsonian. Spouse attempted to move it in slow stages. Landlords' finally gave three day deadline. Huff, huff, tote that barge, move that bale. And to think I did give a heads up to the landlords' in December my spouse would need a deadline. I got swept up in the whirlwind. The apartment will look really good when it gets finished. Not, so very not, looking forward to the move back.
Started my Etsy business. Having a blast learning that. Attempting to sew on the weekends. Ordered lots of fun fabric. I found I still need lots more choices. Playing games on Facebook. It got really cold here. My 'Check Engine Light' came on. I suspect because the young man overfilled my gas tank. It has since gone out. Fatigue is a continuing problem. I started Adkins the beginning of February. Lost 7 lbs so far. Amazing for me-the carboholic. This is my extra stress week at work, once every four weeks. I took a Valium today. I miss my blog.
I am strung out and wrung out. I had an anxiety attack at work because the most hated words in the English language are '...and other duties as assigned'.
I made a lateral move at work because what I had been doing for three years was becoming increasingly stressful. I could no longer deal one-on-one with the public. Nothing with a face across from me ever again. A constant barrage of dealing with problems, personalities, and expectations drained me. In my new position, I have an office with a door. I close it when the ambient face noise begins to jar my nerves. I deal with a few outside offices by phone. Most of my work arrives electronically. I am safe in my little office cocoon. I can take mental breaks as needed; get up, move around, surf the net, or visit my coworker to consult on some issue.
Not today. I had to fill the old position. A constant stream of strangers in and out of my office for-eight-straight-hours as I prepared their paperwork. Sign here. Make copies. Separate. Shuffle and staple. Give directions. Thank you for coming. Keep moving because people with faces are waiting. One was a woman with four small children, one of whom climbed on my chair, pulled my mouse cord, used an OUTSIDE voice with her sister, all the while her baby sister was crying.
Several did not speak English. One even stared at me to the point I was freaked out. My phone rang off the hook. I couldn't answer because I was not available to take care of their needs. Messages I could not retrieve are piled up for tomorrow. I broke down and cried. I don't want the old job, but the hated words in my job description allow my boss to assign as she pleases.
