I am a classic people pleaser. My inability to say no has left me exhausted, penniless and questioning my sanity. Saying no is often associated with negative feelings, like disappointment, anger and loss. That’s why it’s a lot easier to say yes, because I avoid situations that evoke those emotions. With the goal to live authentically, I will start with something small. I work better with scripts when learning new behaviors. Here is selection of six I found at Online Organizing dot com.
1. I am not comfortable with that. It could be with any number of issues, the people involved, the type of work, the morale implications, etc. This is a very respectful way to avoid a sticky situation.
2. I do not enjoy that kind of work. Life isn't about drudgery -- if you don't enjoy it, why do it? Don't be afraid to let someone know you just don't want to because someone else is bound to enjoy the work you don't.
3. I have another commitment. It doesn't matter what the commitment is, you don't have to justify. You simply aren't available.
4. I know you will do a wonderful job yourself. People often ask for help because they doubt their own abilities. Let them know that you have confidence they will succeed. You are actually doing them a favor in the long run.
5. I need to focus more on my personal life. Don't be ashamed of wanting to spend time with yourself, family or friends. Be willing to put your personal needs first.
6. Not right now, but I can do it later. If you really want to help but don't have time, say so. Offer to help at a later time or date.
Say it politely, but mean it! You'll be surprised; the world will not collapse around your ears! People rarely take offense, and those that do aren't worth pleasing. Repeat after me, No, No, No.
Tips taken from: "Ramona Creel is a modern Renaissance woman and guru of simplicity -- traveling the country as a full-time RVer, sharing her story of radically downsizing, and inspiring others to regain control of their own lives. As a Professional Organizer and Accountability Coach, Ramona will help you create the time and space to focus on your true priorities -- clearing away the clutter other obstacles and standing in the way of that life you've always wanted to be living. As a Professional Photographer, Ramona captures powerful images of places and people as she travels. And as a travel writer, social commentator, and blogger, she shares her experiences and insights about the world as we know it. You can see all these sides of Ramona -- read her articles, browse through her photographs, and even hire her to help get your life in order -- at http://www.ramonacreel.com/. And be sure to follow her on Twitter and on Facebook."
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