Mirror, Mirror

The husband is moving us back to his small (2,400 pop.) hometown. His father has recently had a triple bypass and can no longer live on his own. He is 81. I just got off the phone with my husband with my insides all jiggly. 

Seems Dad is giving Son the OCPDer treatment. My husband is complaining of the Jekyll and Hyde treatment he is receiving. The dismissal of any and all advice. The ignoring of the doctor's treatment plan. The insistence that Dad says he is feeling 'just fine' while he weaves unsteadily and gasps for breath, denying the need for the oxygen that accompanied him home. The name calling and bursts of anger when Dad faces the limitations to his new life and shifts blame to my husband. 

Irony is one of my very favorite sources of humor. The pot calling the kettle black. It runs in families and soon I will have two of them to handle. A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself.

Humor Raisins

Just another tasty ingredient in Hermit Cookies.

Man Overboard

Only dead fish swim with the stream. --Malcolm Muggeridge

I live in a simple world. If it is wrong, stop doing it. If it is broken, fix it. If it's a lie, speak the truth. Stupid is as stupid does. If you go along, you get along. Uh….. no. When we go along to get along, we begin to abandon our own principles and persona. I don’t want to conform in order to have acceptance and security. I want to fit in with my differences intact.

From Wikipedia: 'Solomon Asch conducted his classic conformity experiments in an attempt to discover if people would still conform when the right answer was obvious. Using confederates, he created the illusion that an entire group of participants believed something that was obviously false. When in this situation, participants conformed about a third of the time on trials where the confederates gave obviously false answers.' So agree to a lie and people will like you.

I picked up an upper respiratory virus while on vacation which showed up after I returned to work. Bummer. I needed to call in under the new policy which requires me to speak directly to either my boss or director. No more leaving a message or texting. I called my boss, left a message saying I was sick, and would continue to call her. After two more attempts to the office, one to her cell phone and one to the director with no answers I left another message. I admit it was a pissy message about attempting to reach them with no luck. Why make a policy without a way to successfully implement it? An hour later, I get a pissy call to acknowledge my pissy call. (Was that really necessary, Boss? Hope you feel better now.) When I ask what can be done in the future to reach someone, she says, leave a message. What? Forrest Gump would be pleased. Stupidity is based more on our actions than on the speed at which you think. 

My husband says I get in trouble because I ‘rock the boat’. I disturb the status quo. After eight years, I think I finally realize the boat is anchored. It’s not going anywhere. Time to jump ship.

OMG

I am trying not to burn bridges while simultaneously holding this gas can and match. It would be soooo eaassssy not to filter my thoughts since I am leaving. For example, yesterday it was our monthly staff meeting. I work in a department of women. If you have experience with this, then you know how problematic the high school situations arise with the surfeit of estrogen. 

I read a book on this psychology called, In the Company of Women. The authors begin by defining and describing how and why women behave as they do.  After readers begin to identify interactions as they relate to relationships, power, and self-esteem and learn how to use the power dead-even rule, they can begin to understand the intricacies of working with women on a professional level. According to the authors,

"It seemed to us that women consistently failed to support other women and even actively undermined their authority and credibility.

They continue,

"...when women work together, they often experience conflict with one another--a phenomenon that is referred to most often by men as a 'catfight'.

Remember the coworker I had to assist and not eat lunch if needed? It is not just me. I created a schedule of who was 'on call' to help for the next quarter. We all have to leave our assigned work and calls and be there to play 'team' for an entire week. She gets her work completed on time and the assigned have to scramble to catch up. Plus, I had to endure an hour with the Director correcting my 'erroneous' thinking because I made a remark about this coworker's work habits within earshot. Here comes some irony. (I so love it!)

Last night at the meeting, right at the end, when we all wanted to leave, she decides to throw a hissy fit over some paper left on her desk. A file that was handed to her and she did not think belonged to her and she should not have to complete it. She backed the one who left it into a corner. All this done in front of the Director who emphasized 'team' for the one who will not play team. Me-ooow. Pffssttt. Ro-awrrrr.

OMG, I so want to confront both of them. *Sound of a match striking.*

A Taste For Irony...

...has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. --Jessamyn West

What is the difference between hypocrisy and irony? The hypocritical speaker professes beliefs, feelings or virtues that he does not hold. The hearer is not intended to understand the contradiction. In irony, the speaker intends others to know what she means is different or opposite from what is said. It is used as a means of contrast. Pay attention, pop quiz follows. Ogden Nash wrote, 

"I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. 

I work a stressful job. Many days I drag myself home. Do I hit the front door in a good mood? Not always. It takes awhile to make the ‘switch’. I want comfy clothes, food and the internet, in that order. Truly, I know better than to share my day with my spouse. Truly. He has made it very clear my life is of no interest to him unless a news crew is involved. 

I created a nuisance when I shared the latest stress. My supervisor says it is my new job to help a coworker, if she needs it, during my lunchtime and during the time she goes to lunch. I don’t get to eat, but she does. So not fair. He was ugly. Since I left before his rant was complete he left this note near the coffee pot.

You need to learn, that when you walk in that front door, it’s time to put FAMILY FIRST!!! Your bullshit dramas about work, and ‘not getting to eat’ don’t mean a [DELETED] thing next to that!!! You know how many people have to do without for more than a whole day? And yet, they still find happiness AT HOME!!! STOP BEING A SELFISH TWIT!!!! Church is supposed to teach you that!!!! You sure you’re in the ‘right one?

In case I missed the note, I had a text waiting on my phone. 

Jesus fed a multitude with ONE LOAF. I wonder how long they had to wait for what little THEY got.

The next day, I went to the gym before heading home. It gives me a chance to delay switch. Plus watching Buddy on Cake Boss while walking on the treadmill amuses me. On the way home, I received this text, 

So I guess, given your stubbornness, I am feeding myself now?

Were you paying attention? Here is the pop quiz. (A) I was wrong to be upset over being denied lunch. (B) I was wrong because he shouldn’t have to wait to eat. (C) Both A and B.  Irony. It's what's for lunch.


P.S. I have learned to leave the building when it is my lunchtime. If they can't find me, I get to eat.