A Taste For Irony...

...has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. --Jessamyn West

What is the difference between hypocrisy and irony? The hypocritical speaker professes beliefs, feelings or virtues that he does not hold. The hearer is not intended to understand the contradiction. In irony, the speaker intends others to know what she means is different or opposite from what is said. It is used as a means of contrast. Pay attention, pop quiz follows. Ogden Nash wrote, 

"I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance. 

I work a stressful job. Many days I drag myself home. Do I hit the front door in a good mood? Not always. It takes awhile to make the ‘switch’. I want comfy clothes, food and the internet, in that order. Truly, I know better than to share my day with my spouse. Truly. He has made it very clear my life is of no interest to him unless a news crew is involved. 

I created a nuisance when I shared the latest stress. My supervisor says it is my new job to help a coworker, if she needs it, during my lunchtime and during the time she goes to lunch. I don’t get to eat, but she does. So not fair. He was ugly. Since I left before his rant was complete he left this note near the coffee pot.

You need to learn, that when you walk in that front door, it’s time to put FAMILY FIRST!!! Your bullshit dramas about work, and ‘not getting to eat’ don’t mean a [DELETED] thing next to that!!! You know how many people have to do without for more than a whole day? And yet, they still find happiness AT HOME!!! STOP BEING A SELFISH TWIT!!!! Church is supposed to teach you that!!!! You sure you’re in the ‘right one?

In case I missed the note, I had a text waiting on my phone. 

Jesus fed a multitude with ONE LOAF. I wonder how long they had to wait for what little THEY got.

The next day, I went to the gym before heading home. It gives me a chance to delay switch. Plus watching Buddy on Cake Boss while walking on the treadmill amuses me. On the way home, I received this text, 

So I guess, given your stubbornness, I am feeding myself now?

Were you paying attention? Here is the pop quiz. (A) I was wrong to be upset over being denied lunch. (B) I was wrong because he shouldn’t have to wait to eat. (C) Both A and B.  Irony. It's what's for lunch.


P.S. I have learned to leave the building when it is my lunchtime. If they can't find me, I get to eat.