For The Want of A Nail...

I asked my husband if he would run down to the corner store to pick up a gallon of milk with a free coupon. As he was soon leaving to do some errands could he could run to the store and back for me? Perfect. He refused. Nevermind, I got dressed. On my way out, he remarked, was I going for milk? I said I had to since he wouldn't. Oh, man that was a match to gasoline. A fountain of anger to the words of: He was not my puppy dog. I could get off my lazy ass and go do it myself. It wasn’t like I was doing anything. I got the milk. Did it end there? No. A Facebook message waited for me.

"Thanx for once again screwing up a perfectly peaceful Sunday with your selfishness!

 All I did was ask my husband to run down to the store for a gallon of milk as many other wives do. For the want of a nail (or a gallon of milk)…He doesn’t see the butterfly effect in all these small encounters. His anger is destroying this marriage.

PS Here it is now hours later. He is done playing very important Facebook games and is stretched out to ‘watch’ a movie which translates into 'I am going to fall asleep'. What about those errands he was going to run? He’ll do them later.

Humor Raisins

Just another tasty ingredient in Hermit Cookies.

Man Overboard

Only dead fish swim with the stream. --Malcolm Muggeridge

I live in a simple world. If it is wrong, stop doing it. If it is broken, fix it. If it's a lie, speak the truth. Stupid is as stupid does. If you go along, you get along. Uh….. no. When we go along to get along, we begin to abandon our own principles and persona. I don’t want to conform in order to have acceptance and security. I want to fit in with my differences intact.

From Wikipedia: 'Solomon Asch conducted his classic conformity experiments in an attempt to discover if people would still conform when the right answer was obvious. Using confederates, he created the illusion that an entire group of participants believed something that was obviously false. When in this situation, participants conformed about a third of the time on trials where the confederates gave obviously false answers.' So agree to a lie and people will like you.

I picked up an upper respiratory virus while on vacation which showed up after I returned to work. Bummer. I needed to call in under the new policy which requires me to speak directly to either my boss or director. No more leaving a message or texting. I called my boss, left a message saying I was sick, and would continue to call her. After two more attempts to the office, one to her cell phone and one to the director with no answers I left another message. I admit it was a pissy message about attempting to reach them with no luck. Why make a policy without a way to successfully implement it? An hour later, I get a pissy call to acknowledge my pissy call. (Was that really necessary, Boss? Hope you feel better now.) When I ask what can be done in the future to reach someone, she says, leave a message. What? Forrest Gump would be pleased. Stupidity is based more on our actions than on the speed at which you think. 

My husband says I get in trouble because I ‘rock the boat’. I disturb the status quo. After eight years, I think I finally realize the boat is anchored. It’s not going anywhere. Time to jump ship.

We Have Some Very Angry Customers Today

Temper's the one thing you can't get rid of, by losing it.  --Dr. Buddy Rydell, Anger Management the movie

That would be referring to me. Saturday, I went to a well known pet warehouse to pick up some water purifier for my Betta, Ruby. I get behind an old lady with her old chihuahua in the child seat of a very full cart. She says, 'I'm gonna be awhile.' I see the other checkout line has a Closed sign, but a customer is being cashed out. I'm not sure what to do. The male cashier with the closed sign motions for me to come over. Before I could get there a couple walk up and he proceeds to cash them out. WTH? When the couple leave, I go tell the guy, 'You could have told them I was first.' (Remember, I want a fair world.) He takes my purchase hitting the register keys, slamming the scanner gun in the holster, and saying to the air, 'We have some very angry customers today.' WTH? I asked him if he had something to say and he walks off and leaves the store. Thankfully the manager witnessed it all. While the manager finished the sale he assured me he was working on improving things. It would get better. Nope, not in this small town.

So one day later I am questioning my actions. Did I do the right thing? I am learning how to speak up for myself, but was this confrontational, aggressive? Dr Phil defines the difference between being assertive or aggressive. Assertiveness protects my rights, but it doesn't necessarily infringe on the rights of others. Aggressiveness also protect my rights, but it also hurts someone else's rights. 

My scriptural thought for the day was from Proverbs 15:1. 'An answer, when mild, turns away rage, but a word causing pain makes anger to come up.' The practical application was if you find yourself in a tense situation and you sense anger building inside you, it may help to leave the scene, thus giving your emotions time to settle. If the one with whom you are speaking starts to get angry, make an extra effort to speak graciously. A cutting or aggressive remark would add fuel to the fire even if it is delivered in a gentle voice. (Proverbs 26:21)

I'm of two minds here. I think I was assertive not aggressive. On the other hand, I seemed to have caused some pain to that cashier. Did I add fuel to the fire? This grownup stuff just doesn't get easier with age.